Tradition
by sytyue
Summary: Natsuki thought she had ran away from it all.  History has a funny way of sneaking back up on you ...  My first fanfic! R&R :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:  
**I do not own these characters tho I often wish I do

**Author's note:** My first fanfic and first post on this site! R&R! Hope you enjoy!

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Natsuki had picked a bad day to have a bad day, which would be today. It was a Monday. Monday's are the beginning of the week. Beginnings of anything are always a bad time to have a bad anything because it basically means that the rest of the week would be pretty crappy too.

After the whole incident at the Hime-festival, the group had attempted to stay close but it was hard. The event had no doubt, bonded the girls together, but at the same time, made interaction a bit unbearable at times. Natsuki found herself reverting back to her old self as time passed. She only had herself to blame.

Stepping foot into the office, Natsuki let out a sigh. She had caught up with school and had graduated with Mai and the others. However, her heart just wasn't in it. She found herself an okay job in the city and had spiralled back into the life of solitude, only occasionally disrupted by Mai's dinner invitations.

"I heard that the new owner of this company is here for a visit today."

Natsuki shrugged as she flicked back her dark navy hair. Her neighbouring cubical owner had stuck his head over the board to whisper this tidbit of information. She had gotten this job just a little over a month ago and could really care less about its' on-goings.

Natsuki's cubical neighbour ignored her bored reaction to his news and nodded towards the front of the office. She was shaking hands with my boss and Natsuki ended up spilling coffee on her paper-filled desk.

"What's wrong?"

Natsuki continued to stare. It has been a while since she had given the hopes of randomly bumping into her. This was too unexpected and the old feeling was gripping to the side of her as she faded into her memory…

"I dunno...think I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight."

She had raised her eyebrow, half in curiosity, and half in concern. Her eyes were probing the younger girl to go on.

"Today is the anniversary of...well, something bad," Natsuki finished in a tone of annoyance.

She lowered herself to Natsuki's position on the grass. Natsuki was resting her head on her knees which were pulled tightly to her body.

"Hey, if you want, I'll leave my cell phone on tonight. Give me a call if you don't want to sleep and we can keep each other company. I'm a night person anyways."

Over the years, Natsuki has found that lies were something that will always linger between two people that remotely care for each other. Majority of the time, it's there for protection. At least that what she desperately wanted to believe.

"I'll think about it," She had reply to the kind gesture, not wanting to seem weak.

Natsuki could still feel the heat from her cheap second-handed cell phone burning the side of her cheeks.. The warmth emitting from that cell phone was something that she had grown accustom to in her high school years…

"Natsuki, umm..Coffee? Paper?"

Natsuki pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked down at her coffee-stained sheets.

"You should be careful," said a soft voice. Her voice.

Natsuki, looked up sharply but realized that the voice was already moving on. The scent of tea leaves lingered and clung to the air around her and Natsuki let out the breath she's been holding.

There is always a too late for everything, Natsuki just didn't like to admit it.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: ** Thank you for everyone's reviews. I wasn't too sure if I should continue from the original chapter or not but came up with this. This is heading somewhere, I promise! Just need to come up with all the little details! Once again, hope you enjoy and R&R

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Natsuki couldn't concentrate on her work. Other than reading transcripts one after another and basically snooping around on some desperate employee's qualifications, her days at the office are pretty mundane. Since New Year was just around the corner, the numbers of transcripts were increasing as she was getting lazier and lazier.

She looked up from her stack of paper and checked the clock on the wall; it was only 10:34AM. She had no idea how little time has passed since she had walked into the office. She dragged herself off the chair and made her way to the little office lounge. Caffeine would be the answer to her problems.

"Yeah the office New Year party should be a great chance for you to get to know everyone better."

Natsuki automatically cringed as she realized that she had walked into the New Year party persuasion talk. Takede, the party coordinator in the office, often promoted these things and Natsuki had always tried her best to avoid him. He was too weird for her. Natsuki wanted to make a quick U-turn except that her presents in the lounge had gotten her rooted in the room. Natsuki sighed at her own weakness and made her way towards the coffee machine as Takede sprouted on about the party.

Natsuki took a sip of her coffee, leaning back on the counter. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as she made her way to her and stood beside her.

"New Years is a great way to make a first impression with everyone in the office so you should really come. The countdown is usually a lot of fun with so many people around and all," Takede continued from the other side of the room, though Natsuki was sure no one was really listening...

_The gang was counting down in my living room with the television. Natsuki had brought a good supply of drinks for everyone that night and the sound blasting out of the huge flat screen was enough to keep them all entertained. Most of them were drunk and some had already passed out on the floor so it didn't really matter._

_The stairway muted the drunken excitement of the group. They sat on the third step down from Natsuki's unit. It was thankfully empty. It was comfortable and at that point, comfort meant the world to Natsuki._

_"Happy new year," Natsuki whispered, as if she spoke any louder, that moment would disappear._

_"Happy new year,"_

_Her cell phone rang. Her voice on the phone was even softer. Her head lifted from Natsuki's shoulder yet she did not move away. Natsuki no longer felt comfortable._

_"Any new year resolution?" Natsuki asked right after she had hung up. It was unnecessary to ask about the call or even mention it. Though the distance was staring back at her, she choose to do nothing about it._

_"Ara, I haven't really thought about it yet."_

_"Ok," She wanted to know what Natsuki's resolution was..._

"You're coming to the office party, right?"

Natsuki looked back up from my cup of coffee. Crimson eyes were deep and staring right at her. Natsuki could only nod as a soft smile came over the face of the older women.

Thinking back now, all Natsuki could remember was the distant noise and warmth of that dimly lit stairwell. Her resolution was lost in the memory. Natsuki gripped at her coffee cup. She could recall the momentary comfort of that empty stairwell before she had let go and returned to crowded living room. Natsuki gave the group a quick nod before ducking out of the room. Even without looking, she could feel crimson eyes on her. Just like before.

_TBC _


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: **Thanks you for all the reviews! Shiznat, thanks for the correction in Takeda's name! Hope you guys enjoy this new chapter !

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Half -priced appetizer was Natsuki's co-worker's great idea for a welcoming lunch and she seemed okay with it though Natsuki was pretty sure the smile of agreement on her face was the same one she would give her fan girls back in the days. Natsuki could recall her so-called welcoming party which consisted of burgers and fries.

The table was littered with chicken wings, nachos, and other assortment of finger foods as well as some drinks. She, of course, ordered tea. Just that little fact put a small smile on Natsuki's face despite the situation. Conversations amongst the group were a necessity for such "welcoming parties" and it was the part Natsuki hated the most.

"Come on, your turn to say something O quiet one!" laughed Takeda, giving Natsuki a harmless poke to her arm in which a deadly glare was returned.

Natsuki looked up and looked around the table. She had cocked her head to one side, looking at her with a nonchalant air. Natsuki looked down and pursed her lips together in an attempt to help herself think.

"Natsuki…?" She probed. It sounded the same but in Natsuki's mind; she understood that it was different.

"Well, I guess I've been working at the company for a bit now. I'm not too talkative but if you need anything at all feel free to search me out." was all Natsuki could mutter before grabbing her drink so she wouldn't have to speak anymore.

"Thanks." she said.

Conversation started up again between the people at the table. She glanced up at Natsuki again as Natsuki was putting down her drink. There was concern in those beautiful ruby eyes and Natsuki gripped her glass tighter.

"You enjoy working here?" she asked. The expression on her face had softened from when she was speaking to the others. Her expression and her tone…Natsuki could no longer decipher it.

"Yeah," Natsuki breathed out. "It's pretty nice. It's stable and the pay is alright"

"I'm glad," she said as she looked away and allowed herself to be absorbed into a conversation about something or another with the others.

That expression…Natsuki took another swing of her drink trying to drown the memory from the foreground of her thoughts.

_"I don't deserve this."_

_"I know…"_

_For the longest second of Natsuki's life, she thought she was going to lose it. The other girl's expression was soft, one of guilt and pain and... Natsuki just couldn't stay long enough to allow herself to see anymore._

_"I'm sorry…"_

_Natsuki inhaled a shaky breath._

_"It's not good enough anymore. You, me. It is what it is."_

_The reflection of tears in the crimson eyes resembled rubies, as they watched the other walked towards a motorcycle parked in the nearby trees._

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" gasped a waitress. Natsuki jolted from her memory as water dripped down the side of her jacket. She looked to her jacket and back at the babbling waitress with a look of annoyance.

"Here, Natsuki,"

Looking up from the stain on her jacket, Natsuki's eyes stopped at a purple handkerchief held towards her. As Natsuki reached for the handkerchief, their fingers grazed. Her hands were warm and smooth, but her eyes showed a storm of pent up emotion. Natsuki could only feel guilt. With some lame excuse about cleaning up the mess in the washroom, Natsuki retreated from the table.

Natsuki splashed water on her face to bring her completely back into reality. Natsuki had promised not to be weak. She had though walking away from it all was the strong thing to do; the best thing for everyone. She glanced in disgust at her reflection.

"If I was more mature, I would have been strong enough to stay."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Another week, another chapter! Been hitting a lot of writer's block latterly and work has been busier than usual Anyways, enough whining from me! New chapter! Tell me what you think

**glowie**- Aww I hope you are still breathing lol Thanks for keeping up with the story! Hope you like this chapter!

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Walking into the office proved to be a difficult task. Natsuki couldn't shake the memories out of her head and they were burrowing deep inside the right side of her head, leaving a dull pain.

Natsuki resembled a blob as she dumped herself into the chair of her desk and rested her head in her hands.

"Hey," Chie said as she smacked my head with the palm of her head.

"Do that again and I swear to God I will kill you."

"Still hung over eh? She chuckled. Natsuki had to fight down her urge to chuck her across the room. "Guess what?"

Chie has this habit of being rather gossipy though Natsuki had to admit, her little facts do sometimes lighten the work day. However, at that moment, the more she talks, the harder that drummer in her head was pounding on her temples.

"I don't know and I don't car-"

"I think Takeda has a thing for you!"

"Really?" _she_ said, chiming in from God knows where. A blush crossed my face, and though Natsuki could feel it, her flustered attempt to push the blood else where was rendered useless.

Natsuki looked up from her hands. "Whatever…" Natsuki trailed off as she noticed that ruby eyes seem to hold a darker shade of red all of a sudden. She shot Natsuki her famous fan-girl approved smile and then looked back to Chie.

"Yeah," Chie continued excitedly, glad to have someone interested in her little tad-bit of information. "Did you notice the way he…"

Natsuki looked up from her hands again and found that she was not the only one ignoring Chie. She was watching her out of the corner of her eye with a piercing look. This feeling was something Natsuki thought she had left behind a long time ago; a sense of longing, nervousness and curious all at the same time.

"Boss coming out, get back to work," Natsuki muttered as she saw out of the corner of her eye that the door to the boss's room was opening and Chie disappeared as quickly as she came. She just gave Natsuki another brief smile, tearing away that familiar feeling before Natsuki could find the courage to protest. Natsuki buried her head into a nearby folder on her desk as the boss walked by with an approving grunt. Natsuki grinned inwardly to herself and took an actual look at the document before her. July 1st from 4 years ago. The fact that it was still sitting on her desk was wonderment in itself.

There was a loud tapping on my desk. Natsuki jolted and looked up from the document. Her boss was hovering above her, with the older girl giving her a small smile as her ruby eyes twinkled with amusement. As Natsuki met his eyes, she could tell that he had seen the date on the top of that document and Natsuki felt redness creeping up her neck.

"Sorry…" was all Natsuki could get out before the boss launched into a, what seemed to be rather loud preaching about office productivity. Natsuki tried to pull her attention back to reality, to whatever the boss was lecturing about incase he decides to ask any trick questions. Out of the corner of her eye, she was sticking her tongue out of her and throwing Natsuki a soft, sympathetic look.

It was the same look she shot gave Natsuki when she had left for school in Kyoto. The same soft eyes that Natsuki could feel on her back as she had walked away, pretending that she didn't care. The sad smile matched the one that Natsuki could recall and had seen in her many very lucid dreams after they had lost contact, one having already said everything while the other kept everything in.

Natsuki pushed down those thoughts and discreetly raised an eyebrow and gave a light smile as she giggled and ducked back down behind the boss. It was all in the past. It was a long time ago. Why was this so hard?

"Do you understand?"

Natsuki struggled to give her full attention back to her boss, who looked less angry but whose eyes where still grilling into Natsuki's for some sort of reaction. Natsuki nodded not knowing what else to do. He signed and walked off, with her following behind.

Natsuki took a deep breath and slowly let it out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **Sorry for the lack of updates! I felt like I'm ending this too quickly..i'm not sure. Enjoy and any comments or reviews are welcome though I will be out of town for a while so replies might be late.

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Natsuki woke up, startled and wide away. Her heart was pounding but it wasn't a nightmare. Her eyes searched her room while her ears continued to listen in hope that she could see or hear something to prove that it wasn't a dream.

Natsuki let out a sigh, chalking the mysterious noise to have come from the unit next to her own. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. Falling back into the bed, she turned to one side. She turned to her left side, sleeping in the exact position that she was in when she had heard her name. Maybe it will happen again. Maybe the next time she opened her eyes, the source of the voice would have appeared. Maybe.

Squinting against the morning light that was beginning to pour into her room, Natsuki burrowed herself deeper under the warm covers in hopes to block out the existence of this day. She sat up and let the reality of the day wash over her as she recalled yesterday, images of her floated to the foregrounds of her thought.

With her mind on auto-pilot, Natsuki called in sick from work. She turned off her laptop, her cell phone and any other forms of communications. Stumbling into the kitchen, her hand reaching for the coffee pot while her mind brought it over to a warm bottle of Jack Daniels. She walked over to her bookshelf and reached for the photo album that she had received when the older girl had left for university. People have many different ways of comfort, Natsuki had this; her very own comfort tradition. She would let herself remember and allow her thoughts and memories to take over.

Flipping through the album, Natsuki was bombarded with memories from the past. Her eyes smiled at the memories though she refused to utter a word. There are invisible layers of barriers that she made for herself and even though for that certain girl in her memories, she couldn't help but build them stronger. Scared of the shapeless barriers that separate people, Natsuki let out a sigh as she remembered running away. Losing contact and breaking off ties, hurting people and herself. She didn't think they would cross paths again.

Natsuki took another swing of her drink. Pretending was such a self-intoxicating thing. She didn't think it would be this hard. Seeing her again…Another big gulp. She had accepted Natsuki and was gone with her good intentions and good reasoning. Natsuki knows that and with each drink she resolved to be stronger.

"I just need to finish this bottle and the last page of this and everything will be ok again."

The sky was darkening as Natsuki was nearing the end of the photo album. Her bottle was half done and the taste of alcohol was caked to her lips leaving a sweet feeling but a bitter taste. Her head wasn't as hazed as she thought she would be. She felt mentally lighter though she felt a bit too heavier to get up from her position on the floor. Though she thought she heard a faint knock on the door, she shrugged it off.

When the front door jiggled, Natsuki's first reaction was to leap up from her spot and dash to the door. Though in this case, she ended leaping up, tripping over her photo album and fall back onto the floor.

"Natsuki..?!" The voice was scared but filled with concern.

Natsuki looked up from her spot and shouldn't help but stare. She wasn't drunk enough to start hallucinating…so then why was she here.

"I was worried…when you didn't turn up for work today…and the spare key was where it use to be…" she trailed off as keen eyes made their way to the photo album, then to the half emptied bottle, then back to Natsuki.

Natsuki was caught. She wanted to run. She looked towards the door and then back at the figure before her. Natsuki's eyes widen as crimson eyes glittered with tears. It rooted Natsuki to her spot. This hurt more than any memory she could recall. Natsuki gritted her teeth, fighting her need to run. She got up slowly, her mind more focused than she would have thought. This reaction wasn't what Natsuki had expected. Things were suppose to be better. Tears were suppose to dry. Why else would Natsuki have left? Crimson eyes darted and scanned the room, scared that the young girl will run yet again.

Natsuki involuntary let out a sigh. She hadn't realized that her actions were so predictable even after so many years apart. She stared at the chestnut haired girl and felt as if the past that had haunted her for so long as giving her a second chance. She reached out and pulled the older girl to her. She could hear the gasp but just held her as the tears stained her shirt.

"Shizuru." It felt good just to say her name again.

Natsuki felt arms encircled around her and she felt a small smile touch her lips. Tomorrow will be the same as yesterday. Natsuki will go to work and allow the memories of the older girl flow through her each and every thought. It was her tradition.

_The end _


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